The one thing you must do today if you have children

BY SARAH EYKYN

In the one hour I have left before picking up the children from school, I have to figure out supper (make a quiche and buy dog food), write an article and find my son’s soccer kit before we hit the road for tonight’s game. Mentally, I rush through the list, prioritizing, but today all of these things seem equally important.  I feel stress rising, ever so slightly in my chest.

Rushing and stressing are what most working moms do all the time. No matter how many times we read helpful articles on ‘How to Stress Less’ or ’10 Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On’, it’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

It was only when I realized the impact my constant ‘rushing’ was having on the entire family, and how stressed they were becoming as a result, that I decided I had to do something differently.

And so, as soon as I felt the stress rising I stopped everything I was doing this afternoon. Mid quiche.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter and I took a low, slow, deep breath in through my nose, held it, and then released it through my mouth.  This calming, 3-step breathing technique, which I learned about from Dr. Andrew Weil, is absolutely brilliant and can be done anywhere, or any time you feel in the least bit stressed or overwhelmed.

It took me a while to get the hang of it. To start – and this feels a bit strange if you’ve never done it before – put the tip of your tongue behind your upper front teeth, then exhale through your mouth. Then:

• Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of FOUR
• Then hold your breath for a count of SEVEN
• Finally, breathe out through your mouth, whooshing, for a count of EIGHT

Repeat this cycle four more times, for a total of five breaths, counting each time. Dr. Weil suggests that the cycle should be repeated at least twice a day, building up to as many as eight breaths after the first month of practice. The important thing to remember is to let the inhalation be quiet, and the exhalation, or whooshing sound, be audible. I also like to close my eyes and think of a place where I feel close to Nature, (in this case, a path in rural Spain that leads to a heart-shaped tree).

After five of these breath cycles, it is really quite amazing how the level of stress just melts away. And when that happens, you can pick up where you left off (mid quiche if necessary) and get on with your to-do list much more efficiently.

The bonus of learning this breathing technique has been threefold: 1) it has changed the way I handle stress by stopping it before it starts; 2) my family is less stressed because I am more calm, and 3) my children are using the technique themselves to self-soothe everything from exam nerves to stage fright.

To learn how to do this today, watch Dr. Weil demonstrate it in this video.