Category: STRESS LESS

Enjoy the ride: A guide to holiday travel with kids

BY SARAH EYKYN

In advance of the holidays, I thought I’d share some thoughts on traveling with children. If you have a few days off work and you’re going to be on the road or in the air, a little preparation goes a long way towards preserving sanity.

Traveling with children is at best challenging, and at worst, a complete nightmare. Whether it’s a two-hour car journey to Grandma’s house, or a plane ride to China, parents need strategies – and a sense of humor – to cope with everything from delays and sickness to boredom and bad temper.

When I was a travel writer, I flew around the world footloose and fancy free. Childless at the time, I had absolutely zero tolerance for screaming babies or irritating children kicking my seat. Little did I realize that it would soon be my turn to wrestle with a supremely unhappy nine week-old baby at 30,000 feet. Before I could say ‘poetic justice’, intolerant passengers everywhere were throwing me looks of pure malice.

Fourteen years, 86 flights and countless long distance road trips later, I’ve learned a thing or two about travel with children. For instance: if you are planning to drive a rental car up a long, winding mountain pass in Spain in the heat of summer, do not under any circumstances give a sippy cup of milk to a three year-old prone to travel sickness. This is especially important if you are more than fifty miles from the nearest bathroom.

Likewise, do not administer Cheerios to a hungry, cranky toddler in a security line unless you can handle the ensuing meltdown when the snack and your child’s shoes, teddy, backpack and toys are forcibly removed for X-rays. This is critical if you are traveling alone and need to hold on to your tempestuous tot while simultaneously collapsing a double stroller and carrying a sleeping infant. As it is inevitable that your stroller and diaper bag will get stuck in the X-ray machine just as your baby is selected to be patted down for explosives, save the Cheerios until you have cleared security.

Turbulent times ahead

Diaper changes should only be attempted when absolutely necessary on planes, and then only if you are able to fit a 30 lb. toddler on to the one foot changing table in the teeny, tiny bathroom. Turbulence adds an air of excitement to the process, but if your baby’s bottom is higher than your head, it’s probably time to return to your seat.

It may seem obvious, but running out of diapers is not to be recommended on any journey, particularly if you find yourself bumped from an overnight flight in Newark at eleven o’clock at night. If you survive the arduous journey to the nearest hotel via airport train, elevator and transit bus, and can again collapse and reassemble a double stroller containing two comatose children and three backpacks, don’t expect to find diapers on the room service menu. Or, for that matter, in any of the surrounding hotels’ gift stores. A handy hint: in a crunch, girl’s training pants will fit a baby boy until you can find a store at the airport that sells them. But good luck finding anything besides size three.

Should you find yourself holed up in an hotel without toys for any extended amount of time, there are ways to amuse young children. Our all-time favorite was ‘Runaround’. All you need is an elevator. Simply start at the lobby, press the button for the next floor (the most fun part) and run around each one until you reach the top of the hotel, then repeat going down. Dodging cleaning carts and breakfast trays creates added interest. It should be noted however that while this game is huge fun for participants it can be exceedingly annoying to other guests, especially if it is only 5.30 a.m. The Cartoon Network may be a safer alternative.

To stave off boredom during long trips, it’s a good idea to stock up on small, inexpensive toys and games to wrap up in a backpack (older children will most likely just plug in to music or electronics). New crayons, a puzzle, flash cards, books, a small doll or truck, or better yet, a box of miniature farmyard animals or dinosaurs, will provide hours of entertainment.

I spy some fun

Giving younger kids a disposable camera is a great way to engage them in places of interest, and it’s fun to see the world through their eyes when the pictures are processed. Also less risky than giving them access to an IPhone containing all your work contacts.

If you’re in the car, new stories or songs on tape can absorb even the smallest travelers. The only caveat is this: pick songs you won’t mind humming mindlessly for the next five weeks. Old fashioned games like ‘I spy’ are still great ways to pass the time, even if it is just spotting different colored cars (a less than challenging game with a two year-old who thinks everything is yellow).

Food is the greatest diversion on any trip. Personally, I prefer to stay away from the junk food that is the mainstay of most airports and rest stops.  High-sodium foods like fries make kids thirsty, and the more they drink, the more you have to stop for bathroom breaks.

The answer to, “Are we there yet?” is this: the journey will take as long as MapQuest says it will, plus half the time again for rest stops, meals and gas. Nuts and fruit are great low-mess, high nutrition snacks to keep on board.

Of course, if you’re driving, you have to stop to breastfeed. While European airports and roadside restaurants routinely provide nursing rooms, in America, restrooms are often the only alternative for those who don’t want to nurse in public. A bank of empty seats in a lounge and a big blanket to throw over your shoulder offer some degree of privacy, but it’s not ideal. If you’re using formula, don’t rely on local stores stocking your brand – carry at least an extra day or two’s supply with you just in case.

Public or not, breastfeeding during take-off and landing is a great way to reduce the likelihood of ear problems on planes. Older children should be encouraged to drink or suck on something – whether it’s a pacifier or hard candy – and taught how to ‘pop’ their ears to disperse painful pressure.

Be prepared

Getting sick when you’re away from home is never fun. It’s twice as bad when your child is unwell too, and compounded when you’re in a foreign country and you don’t speak a word of the Spanish, Russian, Vietnamese or French you need to translate symptoms. Carry your pediatrician’s number with you so you can call for advice wherever you are.

At the very least, it makes sense to carry a small first aid kit containing bandages, antibiotic cream, age-appropriate pain reliever, travel sickness medicine and a thermometer. Other essentials include an old towel, Ziploc bags, and a change of clothes for everyone on the trip. ‘Little’ accidents can quickly become a big problem when you’re not prepared for them! My tween-age son still suffers from air sickness so we always fly with a well-stocked carry-on.

If you’re going abroad, travel insurance – one that covers every medical eventuality – can be a life-saver. It ensures that if your child is still screaming and holding its ears after you get off the plane, you can get the medical assistance you need to deal with a perforated eardrum, ear infection or wax crayon extraction, without having to worry about how you’ll pay for it.

Years ago, I met a fearless couple who were traveling through rural Mexico for a month. As they boarded the Copper Canyon train in Creel with four children under the age of seven, I thought they were crazy. “How do you do it?” I asked. The mother confided: “Having children doesn’t mean you have to limit your sense of adventure. The secret is to pack light and try to enjoy the ride, even when it gets bumpy.”

There’s no doubt about it: travel with children can be turbulent. But, with a little preparation and a lot of wet wipes, a trip to China can seem almost as manageable as the ride to Grandma’s house. Almost.

Benefits of walking

2 ways to boost happiness in 20 minutes at lunchtime

BY SARAH EYKYN.

It’s pouring with rain and the dogs are at my feet. Ollie hates to get wet, while Pickle, our mad-cap Jack Russell, couldn’t care less.  Ollie’s disposition gives me the perfect excuse NOT to leave my desk at lunchtime, but I know if I can just get outside, it will be worth the effort.

Did you know that the simple act of getting outside at lunchtime is scientifically proven to boost happiness? Perhaps not in the rain, but spending time in fresh air on a nice day can boost your mood significantly. According to research by the University of Sussex1., leaving the office to eat lunch outside – in a park, on a bench, at home, or even while riding public transport – can measurably increase happiness.

The study found that the reverse was true of staying put: eating at a desk, or in the office café, did not positively impact emotional wellbeing or enhance the study participants’ attitudes towards work. In fact, eating at their desks reduced participants’ scores by 1.42 on the study’s happiness scale.

So, the first way to boost happiness at lunchtime is to get outside.

As hard as it can be to justify taking a lunch break, think of it as a way to return to work feeling refocused and refreshed, then give yourself permission to go. Just 20 minutes is enough if that’s all you can squeeze in.

On the way out of your office, try to be ‘present’. Check in with yourself. If you’re feeling stressed, try to use the 4-7-8 breathing technique to reduce any stress or anxiety you may be feeling.

This is also a great time to enjoy 5-7 minutes of brisk walking and soak up a bit of mood-regulating Vitamin-D on the way to finding an inspiring spot to eat your lunch.

If you’re not close to a park, try to find a bench from which you can observe trees, birds, or simply a patch of sky. Tune in to the sights, smells and sounds around you.  Explore your surroundings with a new spot each day. The study reported that the highest happiness was found for those eating lunch at the beach but hey, we have to be realistic!

Hopefully, you’ve been kind to yourself and made or bought a healthy lunch option to eat (check out Cooking Light for some great ideas), and some water to keep you hydrated.

Now, you have time for the second way to boost happiness: practicing gratitude.

If you have never seriously tried to focus on what you are grateful for, it can feel a bit strange talking to yourself in your head, but that’s all you need to do. Start with a simple list: “I am grateful for this fresh air filling my lungs, I am grateful for this healthy lunch nourishing my body, I am grateful for this sunny day warming my face…” and move on. Don’t just say the words, but really try to feel your gratitude rising.

Did you know that the word gratitude comes from the Latin word gratia, which is also the root of the word ‘grace’? For those with religious convictions, this moment of gratitude also presents an opportunity to connect with a higher power.

The subjective nature of gratitude makes it hard to study scientifically, but Harvard Medical School’s Healthbeat2 suggests that studies in this area do support, “an association between gratitude and an individual’s well-being.” For my part, I know it makes me feel happier.

When you have run through a simple list, and while you are munching on your lunch, move on to things that really matter to you. Think about your health (what works!), your family (the joy!), your job (the things your paycheck makes possible), and your relationships (try to resist the temptation to dwell on anything negative and focus on small things that you are grateful for).

Creating the habit of gratitude does require practice. If you’re a visual person, you may want to start a gratitude journal to jot things down (though juggling this with your sandwich may prove tricky). I call mine a JOY JOURNAL because when I look through the pages and see the many incredible blessings I have in my life, it brings me a deep sense of happiness. I use mine last thing at night so I go to sleep focusing on positive rather than negative things.

OK, now that you’ve enjoyed a stress-relieving walk (5 mins), a nutritious and gratitude-inducing lunch (10 mins) you’re ready for a calm and happy trip back to your desk (5 mins). Depending on where you work this timeframe may need to be adjusted, but try to squeeze gratitude in where you can.

As you return, notice how you feel.  Hopefully you feel recharged and a bit happier than when you left. If nothing else, you squeezed in a healthy lunch, a bit of ‘you’ time, and a few minutes of heart-healthy exercise! Now simply repeat daily for a healthier, happier outlook.

The rain has stopped and Ollie is indicating that I have absolutely no excuse not to venture out….

Until next time,
Sarah

  1. “Happiness is greater in natural environments”, George MacKerrona, Susana Mouratoc, Global Environmental Change, Volume 23, Issue 5, October 2013, Pages 992–1000: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959378013000575
  2. Harvard Health Publications, http://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat
tree

The one thing you must do today if you have children

BY SARAH EYKYN

In the one hour I have left before picking up the children from school, I have to figure out supper (make a quiche and buy dog food), write an article and find my son’s soccer kit before we hit the road for tonight’s game. Mentally, I rush through the list, prioritizing, but today all of these things seem equally important.  I feel stress rising, ever so slightly in my chest.

Rushing and stressing are what most working moms do all the time. No matter how many times we read helpful articles on ‘How to Stress Less’ or ’10 Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On’, it’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

It was only when I realized the impact my constant ‘rushing’ was having on the entire family, and how stressed they were becoming as a result, that I decided I had to do something differently.

And so, as soon as I felt the stress rising I stopped everything I was doing this afternoon. Mid quiche.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter and I took a low, slow, deep breath in through my nose, held it, and then released it through my mouth.  This calming, 3-step breathing technique, which I learned about from Dr. Andrew Weil, is absolutely brilliant and can be done anywhere, or any time you feel in the least bit stressed or overwhelmed.

It took me a while to get the hang of it. To start – and this feels a bit strange if you’ve never done it before – put the tip of your tongue behind your upper front teeth, then exhale through your mouth. Then:

  • Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of FOUR
  • Then hold your breath for a count of SEVEN
  • Finally, breathe out through your mouth, whooshing, for a count of EIGHT

Repeat this cycle four more times, for a total of five breaths, counting each time. Dr. Weil suggests that the cycle should be repeated at least twice a day, building up to as many as eight breaths after the first month of practice. The important thing to remember is to let the inhalation be quiet, and the exhalation, or whooshing sound, be audible. I also like to close my eyes and think of a place where I feel close to Nature, (in this case, a path in rural Spain that leads to a heart-shaped tree).

After five of these breath cycles, it is really quite amazing how the level of stress just melts away. And when that happens, you can pick up where you left off (mid quiche if necessary) and get on with your to-do list much more efficiently.

The bonus of learning this breathing technique has been threefold: 1) it has changed the way I handle stress by stopping it before it starts; 2) my family is less stressed because I am more calm, and 3) my children are using the technique themselves to self-soothe everything from exam nerves to stage fright.

To learn how to do this today, watch Dr. Weil demonstrate it in this video.